I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
