It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
