That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
