Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
