I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
