the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
