i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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