were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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