so explain again why im purple
no
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
