I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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