I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
