I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
