don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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