Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
