nut hugger
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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