the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
