I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Randomize
