Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
