Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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