it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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