Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
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