Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
