i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
im holly from the hills drunk
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
