You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
