Quick, to the slutcave!
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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