watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
