Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
