I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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