I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
