brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
