Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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