We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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