dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
