You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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