A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
