38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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