ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
