That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
