just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
