woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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