I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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