we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
