His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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