I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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