She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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