I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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