i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
