he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
