Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
