You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Randomize
