I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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