8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
