if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
