I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
