Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
