She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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